The Straight Escort Directory
Britt
100 Reasons why: Quantum Physics is my panty dropper 🤷♀ I listen to happy music when im sad I listen to sad music when im happy I love Jones cream soda I won't submitt to demands🙅♀ I will always respect a request 🧏♀ I preform spoken word poetry I was kicked out of college for writing other people's papers I aced papers for classes I never took👩🎓 I have a playlist for every mood If we hang out,I will make you a playlist Ive walked across america How I treat you will not be contingent upon how you feel about me My favorite book is An American childhood, by Annie Dillard I often reference iconic American trash I will order prime rib on a 1st date I chew with my mouth closed I enjoy fishing I believe sunday morning should always include sex, duke ellington, and banana pancakes I don't drink My favorite poet is Bukowski (I probably misspelled that but im too lazy to stop and Google) I don't spell d, please forgive this flaw I paint whimsical cartoons👩🎨 My only piercing is my Monroe Im divorced The best date I ever went on included racing golf carts I love Laser tag I wear vans with dresses I collect obnoxious belt buckles I don't have to like you in order to love you I'm a little indie rock & a little OG I fall asleep best to the sound of Morgan Freemans voice on "Through the wormhole" I love that show ancient aliens, you can be ashamed for me I believe life is a lesson not a test I believe the universe is subjective I have a passion for unique cowboy boots I'm an exhibitionist I hate rap but love hip hop if you don't know the difference I'd love to show you I have skeletons in my closet Im in the process of changing my life Im brutally honest I wasn't born with a filter I dont have time to play games I teach things I don't do I don't believe in the words "can't or impossible" I dip Wendy's fries in my frosty I dip waffle fries in mayo I dip seasoned fries in honey mustard I make a lot of plans None of my plans ever work out how I planned them When I feel lost I get lost on long winding roads I cook well I can sew a dress I can't grow plants My favorite movie is A Clockwork Orange I skipped the eleventh grade I failed high school algebra but argued for a passing grade I married my (now x) husband after knowing him 28days Ive received twelve proposals in my life Im an Aquarius My socks never match I wear tights w/ dresses so I dont have to sit like a lady I don't dance or sing well I dance and sing in the shower I have 9 tattoos I don't wear necklaces My necklace is a tattoo I put a warning label on myself: Beautiful Disaster Bath and body works is for 12yr old girls and underpaid whores🤦♀ People get annoyed by my positive attitude I know that nothing in life is personal I try to judge people on their intentions, our actions often don't match My friends would call me pretentious & eccentric but 100% down for the get down.🙆♀ Its none of my business what other people think of me I have an ego Im working towards humility I hate fake nails I sleep in boxers I feel free when im running on an open road I don't feel comfortable in gyms Im spontaneous I don't do social media I skipped prom to play Laser quest, in my prom dress, hose quervo was my date. I'm allergic to latex/elastic/rubber My God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called I read missed connections on craigslist for entertainment I create fake ridiculous missed connection ads for fun I understand that its impossible to grow with out pain The greater the tragedy & transformation, the more profound the testimony My most played song is Que Sera by Wax Tailor Id sell my soul to see mars volta live Hatred only starts when we see something of ourselves I always get lost on tangents I eat icing in my ice cream, I have no need for the actual cake I will spend more money because I like the salesman I need coffee in the morning, before becoming approachable. I don't vote I hate dick picks, leave something for the imagination Im turned on by the men who won't give it up to me, I love working for it Im a GREAT storyteller If we do the horizontal tango, I will not only put in half the work 😉 I will also instruct you into a better preformance Go ahead and hit the call button....you know damn well that you have to meet me now